I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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