Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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