Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
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Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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