I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Do vagina's smell?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I stole a fireplace last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize