dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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