i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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