You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
