and you said cock pushups were impossible
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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