The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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