You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.