just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
