i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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