Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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