the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
