Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
