1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize