from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
