My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize