when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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