very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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