great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i barfeds in our rink
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
