It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
