She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
