is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
