Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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