Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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