would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
