Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize