ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
