is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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