GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
