Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
