The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
