Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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