So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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