My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
