so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
