i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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