OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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