I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize