In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We need to get me chipped asap
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize