I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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