Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
