its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
