So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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