Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
