I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
