just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
