recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
