Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
