I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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