Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
