We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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