Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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