WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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