that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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